Commercial Acting

I am curious about the people who appear in commercials, especially commercials for medicines. Are they "serious" actors who are just trying to break into the business? Or, are they regular people who said screw it, I might as well be in the commercial for erectile dysfunction. Even if it was just for fun, wouldn't you be a little worried about people recognizing you and thinking you really are that guy? Now if you are serious about acting, is that really the springboard to work with Spielberg? I just can't see them hearing, "We loved you in the Levitra ad, we want you to star in a romantic comedy with Halle Berry." What about the band that plays Viva Viagra, do you think they are on iTunes, or tour the country? As I have said before, I would definitely buy the Freecreditreport.com band's album. They can play in any style you want.

Gross and good

So were pretty pumped up today because Whit's sheet from Preschool said that he used the potty today. We have been debating about starting potty training with him anyway so we thought it was a good sign. Tonight I was trying to pump him up about it and took him to the bathroom. I had him stand up on a little stool to give it a try. So he's standing there trying his best and he slips and falls forward. He didn't get hurt but was pretty upset that his hand went in the toilet. I felt so bad for him, but was a little relieved that he knew his hand in the toilet was gross. Such is the life with boys.

Well it's been a while.

I can't remember the last time I posted something on here. I have had good intentions, but we all know where those lead. I am doubling my efforts, and am going to write more often. I know my huge fanbase has been waiting with baited breath. Mainly I am writing this, because it means more if I write it instead of just think it. I am going to shoot for at least 2-3 times a week. I am thinking smaller and more streamlined. So just sit back, relax, and wait for the next post.

My favorite sing-a-longs

Let me start this by saying that I can't sing. I am well aware of my vocal shortcomings. The only times I ever sing are in church, in the car alone, and occasionally at a tailgate. I know I'm not the only one who likes to sing in the car. Here are some of my favorites to sing along to.

1. Hurricane, by Bob Dylan. I think maybe it's because Bob Dylan isn't the best singer that I feel like I can pull this one off. Best part: At one time he could'a been, the Champion of the world. You can listen and watch it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei0yDMFVaRs
2. Tennessee Whiskey, You never called me by my name, Long-Haired Redneck, all by David Allan Coe. I saw DAC live once at the Georgia Theatre. He was drunk, sang some weird songs, and sang everything too fast, but it was awesome. Anybody who puts braids in their beard and wears cornrows at 65+ has got it going on.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOP8j8vJAkE
3. Uneasy Rider, Charlie Daniels Band. Now I know as well as you that he really doesn't sing, but again, I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Best Part: But before he could move I grabbed me a chair and said watch him folks, cause he's a thoroughly dangerous man. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMN7fGZW_BY
4. Bust a Move, Young MC. Still stands the test of time. Classic. Best Part: all of it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy4FXhkm6Nw
5. Let her Cry, Hootie and the Blowfish. The beginning is unreal. I will repeat the beginning verse a couple of times when my ipod shuffles to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIvt74urcus Couldn't find a good version on youtube sorry.
6. Poncho and Lefty, Willie Nelson. I nailed this song on Sing Star. It was so improbable, I was accused of cheating on a video game, even though everyone heard me sing it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxzJAF1BxP4

These are just some of my favorites. Too bad you won't ever hear me sing one, unless you sneak in my car, or come tailgate with us in Athens. What are your favorites to sing by yourself?

Awkwardness at the Gym

Today when I showed up at the gym to workout, I was confronted by an awkward situation. I am sad to say that I seem to be faced with this situation about once a month, which is more than a little too often. I am talking about gratutious nakedness in the lockerroom. Let me stop you before you even start to defend said nakedness. I can accept a reasonable amount of nakedness in the lockerroom. I get it, we all have to change clothes. Most people go about their business, keep their eyes in their locker and get dressed as fast as possible. The guy today was way out of line. I enter the lockerroom and am immediately confronted with an older gentlemen, approximately 60, standing sans clothes in front of the sinks and mirror. Besides the obvious clothes missing, I noticed he didn't have anything with him. No towel, washcloth, toothbrush, shaving kit, water bottle, or paper towel. This by itself wouldn't be a big deal either if he was just passing through that area. As I am getting dressed, I hear another older gentlemen enter and head for the sinks. He of course, starts a conversation with the naked guy. At this point, the naked guy has been at the sinks for at least 7 minutes with no items anywhere to be found. The two old guys start talking about surgeries, and naked guy tells his two hip replacement stories. Dreading it, but knowing that I had no other option, I headed past them to get to the restroom. I had to slink along the wall to avoid naked guy because he is standing in the middle of the path flexing his hips talking about operation recovery. As I high-tailed it out of there, along the wall to avoid any kind of brush-up, I again confirmed there was nothing anywhere around this guy. No logical explanation for his extended stay in the sink area. I was actually nervous when I came back in the locker room after my workout that he would still be there. So consider this a P.S.A., everyone has the right to nakedness in the locker room, but this right should be used in moderation. Please, for the Love!

9 Things I love about my wife

In honor of our Ninth wedding anniversary. Here is a list in no particular order of just 9 of the millions of things I love about my wife.

1. The green in her eyes.
2. The way she asks questions about what is getting ready to happen in movies and tv shows.
3. She always tries to see the good in people.
4. She encourages my sense of humor even if she doesn't understand it.
5. Her smile.
6. She watches ultimate fighting with me, and adds comments like "I wish they would do something already, no one wants to see them hug"
7. She is a terrific mother to our boys.
8. I can normally crack her up at inappropriate times.
9. She loves me back.

Happy anniversary Debbie. I Love You!

3-D Movies

I don't know if it is the economy, or if the technology is that much better, but aren't there alot more 3-D movies now than 5 years ago? I can't really remember many when I was growing up. We went and saw UP which is in 3-D and there were previews for 3 more 3-D movies coming out soon. We just saw Monsters vs. Aliens in 3-D a couple of months ago too. I am not complaining, it is definitely cooler having stuff come out at you as my 4 year old says. My question is, why now? Why did I get the shaft growing up? Surely movie execs aren't just now figuring out that people like 3-D. I would wager that any movie would be cooler in 3-D. Am I crazy? Just to get even, I am going to watch every 3-D movie that comes out. I can't wait until we can get 3-D in our own homes, then it will be in our video games. No probably not, that makes too much sense.

Cheaters, The show.

Am I the only one who considers "Cheaters" a guilty pleasure. I have been watching this show off and on for approximately 8 years, and it never disappoints. First, let me say that cheating on someone you claim to love, seems like one of the scummiest things you can do. Having said that, it seems like both sides of every episode are in on it a little. I mean I can't tell you how many times you hear the one being cheated on say something like "You swore this wouldn't happen again." Or, you hear the cheater saying something like, "I forgave you when you cheated". Here's my take, if you are suspicious enough to hire a TV show to investigate your significant other, then there are probably some underlying issues whether or not they find anything. I think I have only seen one case where they didn't uncover an affair. I think maybe the biggest reason for the show's success is the Joey Greco. I think one of the big reasons he is likeable is because he is surrounded by "good-uns" at all times. I love their tagline: "This program is both dedicated to the faithful and presented to the false-hearted to encourage their renewal of temperance and virtue. " I think their heart is ultimately in the right place, but it is hard to get the message with all that awesome entertainment. Two of my favorites below.

The one where Joey gets stabbed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ_obK_JTCI

The one where the dude gets flipped in the portapotty and has his keys thrown in the woods.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=audYrw0yZ1M

A word of warning to the false-hearted, if Joey Greco shows up at your door, you're in big trouble!

Special sauce and secret ingredients

Am I the only one that is a little bothered by products or restaurants that have secret ingredients or special sauce. Normally crappy products don't rave about their special components, it's only the good stuff. Now why would a good product/restaurant not want to share part of their recipe? I will concede the obvious, that some of this could be to protect their property and success. The other part of it could be that there is something really nasty in it. For example, Bush's baked beans touts their secret family recipe in every commercial. There could be anything in those baked beans and I wouldn't know. I wouldn't be surprised if there was lemon pledge in there. What about Dr. Pepper? We all know there are 23 special ingredients, but how special are they. What if the secret ingredient is cigarette ashes? I think any restaurant with a special sauce is especially shady. At least with Dr. Pepper I would hope that it has gone through some kind of testing. These restaurants are islands to themselves. Even if I am enjoying the sauce, I worry what if this has wallpaper glue in it. The bottom line is I am probably better off not knowing, but it won't stop me from being suspicious.

Kid Twitter

I think I may get both of my boys a twitter account. No really, it is not as bad an idea as you think. They both basically talk in status updates anyway. Here is a sample of some potential twitters from my boys.

batmanfan: I'm pretending to be a smurf. I am lazy smurf.

iloveelmokid: i going on vacation. bye bye

batmanfan: i don't like going to timeout. i want different consequences.

iloveelmokid: i go in peepee potty

batmanfan:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

iloveelmokid: WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

griffinrlifsey: I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

iloveelmokid: look daddy I climb

batmanfan: bet you can't take the ball from me.

See they would be just as interesting as half of the other people on twitter.

You ought to see their twitpics.

Here is max in timeout, being joined by Whit because he didn't want to be left out.

twitpic/iloveelmokid/timeout

I think I may get them writing their own blogs

I miss summer camp

One of the greatest things about summer when I was a kid was going to summer camp. Whether it was "spend-the-night" camp or daycamp, it was awesome camp. My son is now going through a murderer's row of summer day camps and he is only four. Needless to say I am a little jealous. I mean who wouldn't be, zoo camp, aquarium camp, children's museum camp, and in a couple of weeks, art camp. This took me back to my youth when I got to go to camp. I got my first tast at the Nature Center. Learning about animals and nature seemed like the best thing ever. I even got my picture in the paper catching tadpoles. My first overnight camp was at Camp Lookout with our church. I felt like a pioneer living in a cabin for a week. Next, I moved to the big leagues, Boy Scout Camp. I spent approximately 5 summers going to scout camp. I know it sounds a little dorky, but I had some pretty memorable weeks there. Not even the summer when I watched a group of campers get struck by lightning less than 50' from me could keep me away.(Note: to my knowledge all those struck by lightning ended up being fine, and no long term injuries were sustained, just some burns on their feet. I don't want anyone accusing me of being a heartless jerk.) I would come back summer after summer for the chance to get away and do things I couldn't during the rest of the year. Now as an adult, I can take vacations to get away, but it is not the same. When you were a kid, you knew when summer started rolling around that it was time to start getting your gear ready. I may start an adult summer camp, who's with me? What was your most memorable camp experience?

The island of misfit nba players

The NBA finals is the first sporting event that I wish wasn't in high definition. Normally any sport, exciting or not, is infinitely better in HD. In golf, you can count the dimples on the golfball. In baseball, you can pick up the spin on a pitch. In hockey you can see how many teeth the players are all missing. Usually HD is a vital part of sports viewing. Not for these NBA finals. I can't remember a more motley looking group of players. Three glaring examples of too much definition come to mind.

First Pau Gasol. He looks like he should be selling hemp necklaces out of the back of his van at a Phish concert. You would never pick him out of a lineup as one of the top 10 current basketball players. He looks like a european grave digger.

Second, Hedo Turkoglu. Same reasons as above. Would you want to buy coffee from this guy. Me either. According to ESPN's Bill Simmons, he may have set the standard for broken HD tuners.

Finally the Kobe Bryant Wolverine Face. I know, I know, he really wants this bad. How could I forget with the announcers telling us 10,000 times a game. It looks like he is trying to smell his own breath. No kobe it is not your breath, it is Pau Gasol's Euro B.O.

Besides the fact that the Lakers are probably going to walk to the title, I just can't stomach seeing any more. Maybe they could play with ski masks. Or even those face guards like Rip Hamilton wears would be better. Let me know if they start broadcasting in LD.

Auto Repair Nightmare

I don't know if anyone else out there drives an old crappy car, but I do. A 1994 Toyota Camry Station Wagon to be exact. Now I bought this car knowing it was a crap-shoot. So far I have made out better than I thought I would. Recently I have had two bouts of repairs that had to be done. Now I consider myself at least semi-mechanically inclined, but my knowledge about cars is limited. I know the basics and can normally understand most things if they are explained about my car. Whenever I go into the repair shop, I feel like one of those bad dreams I used to have. You know the one, like you registered for a class in college and forgot to drop it, and now you have to go take the final. You walk in and start to sweat, feeling like everyone knows you don't belong there. That's how I feel in the garage. I will just go ahead and admit it, I don't know that much about auto repair. I always feel like the mechanic is onto me. Like he and his buddies got together and are trying to see how far they can push it. I feel like Clark Griswold when he asks the mechanic how much his repairs will be and the mechanic replies how much you got while swinging his wrench. So far, I haven't been able to find a site called www. punkdbymechanics.com , but I am sure there is one out there. Can't someone create a website that tells you if you are getting rooked on your repairs or not. I need this. If anyone who reads this(which I think is no one) has auto knowledge, then I need you to be my phone-a-friend lifeline. Every time my car makes a funny noise my palms start to sweat. I can't go on living like this.

Bron-Bron

I just caught the end of the first half of the Cavs-Magic game. What are the chances that Lebron James is either a) an alien b) a robot , or c) a government experiment. Any of the 3 are easier to belive than he's just a regular human. His skill set, talent, and body are unprecedented. I noticed that ESPN was running an article and debate about whether or not he could play in the NFL. Here is the link. http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4194437 Am I the only one that thinks this is a humongous duh. I mean he played football in high school and had college interest from Notre Dame and Ohio State. He may be one of the freakiest athletes EEEEVVVVVEEEERRRRRRR! I don't care what sport you want to name (with the exception of jockey or cockswain) he could be exceptional at it. What do you think, name a sport that his athletic ability wouldn't translate to?

PETA Protest

Today I attended my first protest. Mind you, I was not there to support either side of the issue, just to be there. I had high hopes that a PETA protest at the McDonalds on Brainerd Road would be something to see. Boy was I right.

As we pulled up, this is what we saw.

They were protesting the way McD's kills their chickens. Apparently by scalding them alive. It sounds bad and all, and sure, I don't the chickens I am going to eat to suffer, but I question the planning of this protest a little bit. First, why Chattanooga? Why this Mcdonald's? Do we really think that the McDonald's lunch crowd is going to be so struck by the dynamite human diorama, that they will leave McD's without their lunch?

Now I didn't want to come across as a total jerk. Even though I walked up with my phone out ready to take pics. So, I listened to the PETA spiel, and tried to act like I wasn't just staring at the the girls in the red water. Cars were honking and people were rubbernecking galore. I even kept the flyer.

I will be having nightmares about being stabbed to death by Ronald McDonald tonight. Thanks PETA!

There was a reporter there from the Times-Free Press taking video. I believe that he was onto us, and asked me for a sound byte. I was able to quickly shift the spotlight to my friend Jake, by saying "No thank you. But this guy will do it." My buddy didn't have time to refuse, because the reporter said okay ready go. He was a little flustered and not sure about what he said. They could actually edit it to make him come across as a supporter or hater of PETA.

Here he is below. I really hope his blurb or video makes their website.

Now I don't want to support the torture of my mcnuggets, but I wasn't exactly moved by the protest either. While I may not have had my mind changed I came away with some awesome memories. I think I will have to start going to more protests. They seem pretty awesome.

Keep an eye on your bacon!

There are so many things that intrigue me about this story. First of all, who would call the police to report tha you were robbed and all that was missing was 5lbs of bacon? No, they didn't take money, electronics, our cars, just the bacon. Second, the wife allowed her husband to call the police to report said bacon stolend, knowing that she had eaten it. That's pretty cold. Third, how was she able to eat 5lbs of bacon? I don't think I could do more than 1 or 1.5 lbs. Fourth, how did she get up in the middle of the night, and cook 5 lbs of bacon without her husband, or even the neighbors smelling it? Even when she came back to bed, wouldn't she reek of bacon? Unless she ate it raw, or snuck outside and cooked it on a camp stove. I just have to imagine that this isn't the first time that something has gone "missing" from their fridge. Maybe that's what set the husband off. He was tired of being victimized by this food bandit. Good Grief. (This article was taken from Failblog.org)

What the French Toast Part 1

Something I saw recently.

Have you seen the commercials for the new and amazing slim clip. You can check it out here https://www.slimclip.com/ver13/index.asp#ordernow . This amazing new invention is a piece of metal that clips around your money and credit cards. Seriously? It is a money clip!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Didn't President Lincoln carry a money clip? I don't care if it does have two sides. And guess what, they dropped it into a regular blender and it didn't get chopped into little pieces. (Side note: if you do want to watch all kinds of stuff get chopped up in a blender, then here is your paradise. http://www.willitblend.com/ ) If you're sold on the slim clip, then you should check out my new invention, the wheel. Email me for ordering information.

It's summer movie season

We are beginning to enter summertime, which means one thing. Movie premieres. I started thinking back to my childhood to the first big movie I remember waiting to see. The answer was obvious and is still one of my favorites, KARATE KID II. I went with all caps to emphasize my strong feelings. I still remember how jacked I was waiting to see the sequel to one of the best movies ever made, KARATE KID. Karate Kid was pretty much the perfect storm of awesome. You had Daniel Larusso who was kind of dorky, who could relate to that. Next you had the Cobra Kai's who were hateable but had those B.A. black karate uniforms. Finally Mr. Miyagi with his crane technique. The scene before the finals when he smacked his hands together and started rubbing to generate heat still gives me chill bumps. How could the sequel not be as awesome? Boy did it deliver! Daniel-son and Mr. Miyagi travel to Okinawa and face-off against Sato and Cobra-Kai Far East. Just when the crane was getting played out, we get the arm swinging drum. Again, the chill bumps still pop up when all the people at the festival are banging them back and forth in unison. I remember other big summer movies, but none have yet matched the magic of KKII. Send me the first big movie you remember seeing.

Why do our roads stink?

Good grief! Someone just tipped me off to this scandal going on within the Georgia DOT. You can read the article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/23/us/23georgia.html . It is mind-bottling the extent to which this is happening. Let's just say that the GADOT does not have the best reputation as far as being people-friendly. I guess it is because they would rather be "interacting" with each other instead of the public.

Why not!

So I have finally made it. I have the power to write my thoughts and anyone could find them and read them. It doesn't get any bigger than this. Wait, what? You mean anyone can write a blog? Flip, why didn't you tell me that before? I guess this won't be my ticket to fame and fortune. In that case, I'll just write jokes for myself.